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<blockquote data-quote="jayums" data-source="post: 519430" data-attributes="member: 7190"><p>My thoughts on TLJ:</p><p></p><p>OPENING CRAWL...</p><p></p><p>Poe fails...</p><p>Rey fails...</p><p>Finn fails...</p><p>Leia fails...</p><p>Holdo fails...</p><p>Luke fails ...</p><p>Snoke fails ...</p><p>Kylo fails ...</p><p></p><p>... Yeah we get it!</p><p></p><p>I suspect if RJ were to remake the original superman movie he would probably make Clarke Kent a paedophile to subvert expectations. TLJ did subvert my expectations, but only the expectation I had before I saw the movie that it was going to be any good.</p><p></p><p>So now the First order can track ships through hyperspace, which is a **** idea. The rebels don't know they can be tracked through hyperspace, even though that's how the imperials found their base. 10 minutes later the rebels seem to know exactly how this new tracking technology works. They have to disable the lead ship that is tracking them, so Finn and Rose go off on a boring mission that feels like some outtakes from the Prequel trilogy. </p><p></p><p>Meanwhile, General Hux overacts like a pantomime villain throughout, and Y wings are replaced by highly explosive rebel flying death trap bombers - which all fly incredibly slowly and in very close formation. What could go wrong?!</p><p></p><p>At this point the escaping rebels could fly off in different directions and take their chances. Or they could save a lot of hassle and just kamikaze into the enemy ship that they now know is tracking them (cos it turns out that doing this works). Instead there is a weird, dull, slow motion chase through space. </p><p></p><p>During most of the movie Poe will get told off a lot by someone we've never seen before with pink hair called Holdo. She won't tell him about her terrible plan which must remain a secret for no particular reason other than she thinks Poe is far too reckless/heterosexual. The plan is for the rebels to escape in secret on transports without the first order even realising (even though Snoke can see their ships through his f*cking window!)</p><p></p><p>Meanwhile RIan Johnson decides against watching the original trilogy to find out what Luke Skywalker's character is actually like, and instead writes another character altogether (less heroic/fun - these traits are not subversive enough!). Rey asks Luke for help, but no can do! Besides he has been really busy on the island looking after some old Jedi books and a sacred tree that he will burn later on in the movie.</p><p></p><p>Apparently Han and Leia are both terrible parents who allowed their son Kylo to be groomed somehow by Jimmy Saville Snoke during Jedi Scout camp (No need to explain how any of this happened though, as Snoke will die later on in this one).</p><p></p><p>Blah blah blah ... End with Battle of Hoth in the desert... credits roll. Everyone around me leaves the cinema in disappointed silence.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>... ... But other than that I didn't mind it. :lol:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jayums, post: 519430, member: 7190"] My thoughts on TLJ: OPENING CRAWL... Poe fails... Rey fails... Finn fails... Leia fails... Holdo fails... Luke fails ... Snoke fails ... Kylo fails ... ... Yeah we get it! I suspect if RJ were to remake the original superman movie he would probably make Clarke Kent a paedophile to subvert expectations. TLJ did subvert my expectations, but only the expectation I had before I saw the movie that it was going to be any good. So now the First order can track ships through hyperspace, which is a **** idea. The rebels don’t know they can be tracked through hyperspace, even though that’s how the imperials found their base. 10 minutes later the rebels seem to know exactly how this new tracking technology works. They have to disable the lead ship that is tracking them, so Finn and Rose go off on a boring mission that feels like some outtakes from the Prequel trilogy. Meanwhile, General Hux overacts like a pantomime villain throughout, and Y wings are replaced by highly explosive rebel flying death trap bombers - which all fly incredibly slowly and in very close formation. What could go wrong?! At this point the escaping rebels could fly off in different directions and take their chances. Or they could save a lot of hassle and just kamikaze into the enemy ship that they now know is tracking them (cos it turns out that doing this works). Instead there is a weird, dull, slow motion chase through space. During most of the movie Poe will get told off a lot by someone we’ve never seen before with pink hair called Holdo. She won’t tell him about her terrible plan which must remain a secret for no particular reason other than she thinks Poe is far too reckless/heterosexual. The plan is for the rebels to escape in secret on transports without the first order even realising (even though Snoke can see their ships through his f*cking window!) Meanwhile RIan Johnson decides against watching the original trilogy to find out what Luke Skywalker’s character is actually like, and instead writes another character altogether (less heroic/fun - these traits are not subversive enough!). Rey asks Luke for help, but no can do! Besides he has been really busy on the island looking after some old Jedi books and a sacred tree that he will burn later on in the movie. Apparently Han and Leia are both terrible parents who allowed their son Kylo to be groomed somehow by Jimmy Saville Snoke during Jedi Scout camp (No need to explain how any of this happened though, as Snoke will die later on in this one). Blah blah blah ... End with Battle of Hoth in the desert... credits roll. Everyone around me leaves the cinema in disappointed silence. ... ... But other than that I didn’t mind it. :lol: [/QUOTE]
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